Godspeed You! Black Emperor on the stereo... 3:24am.
It's funny, how things happen. This song, Dead Flag Blues was once played and brought with it romantic thoughts of death and destruction. It still does, but does it really hold the same meaning as it did before? I don't have anyone to share it with anymore, I have tried... I knew someone once, who was in tune with how I saw things too, we were completely on the same wavelength. I miss having someone like that, which is why I am on a quest to find such a person (much to the dismay to the ears of you Adam). Who knows, these sort of things take time. But my previous experience has shown me that we are never completely on the same station as someone else, but rather, we connect briefly until we pass on by on our own path once again.
Time to think, is what is to be embraced on these Uni holidays. I keep waking up with a sense of urgency, that there is something that is needing to be done. I keep forgetting that I own my time now, these are my few months. We wont have such a privilage for very long, when we are all settled into our full time jobs, we get a week or two off yearly, that is my biggest fear..
For some reason I see beyond that of what people take as a normal life. I'm not anything special, I know why people do... we are all so guided by money and standards. But if I was given the opportunity, I would give up everything and.. .. I wonder, what could be done? A commune? The army? Creative business?
It seems the housewife would be perfect for me, but for some reason, it isnt. I want to have my own time, but I want to make something of myself. Why is this so hard to sort out?
I know I'll find the right path soon enough, things always seem to come to light when I am needing a helping hand most in life.
Looking to my left, I see a picture of Mike and I. I get a funny feeling in my stomach when I think of him being all the way in Bahrain. I will miss him, but what a nice chance to sit back and daydream of his return! He brings a smile when he enters my thoughts.
I must awake from sleep in.. oh, 9 hours. That's decent I guess. Going out to the city, for a nice afternoon out. I am longing for a nice cool drink at a cafe and then some lunch, window shopping and all manner of such things.
Romantic thoughts of death and destruction... I can't deny, they are still there.
1 comment:
if that's the time it was when you started writing, i think i may have to call you when i am en route to make sure you are awake!
sure, it's good to know someone with the same musical tastes, but it is just as good on your own, as it is keeping you company...
and don't tell the RIAA that your after a music buddy! lord knows what they'd do if they knew two people were listening to the same piece of music AT THE SAME TIME
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